“Active listening is always necessary because it creates empathy, not pity” (Jhinuk Sakar, 2020).
This is the journal/ TOR that I remember looking through once upon a time when I was interning/ working at Shades of Noir. As I read it today, I reflect upon my own knowledge, experience and understanding (and the lack of them as well).
I read two pieces: Brown girl not in the ring by Jhinuk Sakar and Favour Jonathan’s Reflection on working with Shades of Noir. Both of the articles spoke about dyslexia, their own reflections and the battle with your inner narratives. The words they wrote were something I resonated with very deeply.
I remember labelling myself as a ‘defect’ and ‘stupid’ when I struggled in processing sentences, writing, and comprehending numbers and when reading took me so long that I was put off by it. I dreaded all these things because I truly believed that I wasn’t good/ smart enough as my peers [and relatives]. During exams, the questions were daunting to process – once, twice, or thrice I would re-read the words. My self-doubt made me back out on opportunities, after all, I truly believed that I was just not good enough.
Like Jhinuk states in her piece about not finding out her specific learning differences in her early years of education, I always regret with this. In my younger years, I never knew/ understood my learning differences – the term dyslexia was something I did not hear growing up. It was only in the second year of my BA course that hearing about my peer’s experience made me approach the student service. The diagnosis and screening process went smoothly for me – initially when I told my parents about the process I will be going through and why am I doing it, they were confused, like me they had never heard of SpLDs. Coming from a South Asian background, my education back home did not consider invisible impairments (education was taught in a way where it relied on students to memorise information). When I first got diagnosed with dyslexia in uni, I did not really fully use the support – having a one-one with a dyslexia support member seemed very daunting to me as like Favour mentioned in her writing, I also did not want others to read what I wrote and realise that I just don’t make sense/ write so slowly (my own mind telling me that others might perceive me as not doing enough work!)
Reading these two articles and considering my own lived experience, I believe it is important to consider that there are students coming from different backgrounds (ethnicity, culture, socioeconomic, etc) and how their intersectionality might play a role when seeking for support/ diagnosis.
As mentioned in the reading, the inner battle of beating oneself over not being as ‘smart’ and unable to ‘excel’ as others made me reflect on self-care. Within our community, we are constantly told to work hard (extra hard) – how can we implement self-care in our sessions/classes/ work, etc?
- comfort breaks
- repositioning our own boundaries – what we expect from ourselves and what we want to achieve (will need to add more to this list!)
How can we ensure that students or staffs all have access to resources/ benefits that can support us/ excel in our own way of learning?
I believe that the more you hear from each other, the more aware you become. In my younger years, my struggle with studies was apparent, but it was something that I couldn’t share with anyone because I was not aware of/ know what SpLDs is, to begin with – if I had more people speaking about it around me, would that have made me recognise, understand and seek for support early in my education years?
When I read these two articles, as mentioned above, I could resonate with them deeply – and I believe that many more can too. Speaking with my friends about my unsure ‘signs’ of dyslexia and learning about their own experiences made me realise that it is okay – I am okay.
While we can signpost students to these student services to get support, I wonder if students hearing about each other’s experiences (or staff – for e.g my own journey of owning my dyslexia) can benefit the students positively – will they be able to relate, be aware of/ seek support and find/ learn their own way of learning.
Further reading:
Burnout Part 1 and Part 2 – pg 37 – 39 and pg 42 – 43
Key advice for Tutors – pg 28 – 31
I go thought the same feelings with my dyslexia i was diagnosed early and had help in junior school having special lessons planned to help but this did make me feel like im different to the other kids and was excluded. in secondary school they didnt think i was bad enough that i needed the help so i didnt get anything i struggled with the work. i still find stuff hard to do with this course but try to Power though.
Hi Luke, thank you for your comment. I understand the feeling! Especially when it takes so much time to process the information than your peers – I always compared myself to others (which I know I shouldn’t have done in the beginning!) I agree Luke, this unit has been challenging but like you said we will power through!